Now it is time to reveal the truth behind my first couple of blog award headlines and then present my first batch of blog award winners!
So here it is – the revelation of some terrible things this Sicilian Housewife has done in the past.
Scroll down to see the award winners and details of how to pass on the award.
1. Sicilian Housewife gives her Husband a Black Eye
This happened in bed.
Hubby and I both decided to be really sweet and kiss each other goodnight before collapsing unconscious from toddler-induced exhaustion. I planned to hovver over his pillow and deliver a great romantic smacker, whilst he had just the same idea.
It was dark. It was PITCH dark. Since we could see nothing at all, our heads collided and let out a heart-stoppingly loud cracking sound like railway sleepers splitting in a fire. I have a skull so thick it makes that of a Doberman look fragile, so I suffered no tangible damage. Hubby got a mild concussion, two black eyes (how is that even possible?) and a blue and purple nose.
By the morning his eyes could hardly open and he looked as if he had been lynched by a gang armed with bicycle chains and hammers. He had to go to work, where he was greeted with gasps of shock. He told one of his colleagues that his wife had done it to him, and the man – who has met me on several occasions – said,
“Oh, I’m so sorry! You seems so normal. I didn’t realise she was secretly a psycho.”
“Oh, all English women are like that, actually,” hubby replied casually.
2. Sicilian housewife Runs Over an Artichoke Vendor’s Toes
I was new to Sicily and especially new to driving in SIcily when this happened.
I think I have made it clear that driving in Sicily is unlike driving in the rest of Europe. Drivers do not feel any specific need to stay within their own lane, for example, when the vehicles in the oncoming lane appear to be driven by wimps who could easily be intimidated out of the way. They see no particular reason why they should stay on the road, when the pavement happens to be empty.
Pedestrians take a similarly reckless approach to their own safety, springing into the road in front of oncoming traffic, and indeed conducting lengthy conversations in it, for no apparent reason.
The first time Hubby decided to give me a Sicilian Driving Lesson, I did fairly well up until the point where I had to get past an “ape” van loaded with artichokes. When I say loaded, I mean essentially there was an artichoke farm in the road and you could just see some wheels at the bottom.
As if by magic, a man flew down from the top of this mountain of spiky vegetation and alighted in the road in front of me. Just as a BMW was coming at me on the opposite side of the road like a bat out of hell.
Would Mr. BMW slam his brakes on and perform a successful emergency stop? Not a chance in hell.
Would he go up the pavement? No, some tourists were sitting there under an umbrella, innocently drinking cappucinos and eating cannoli.
Would he come crashing straight into me and then make me pay hundreds and hundreds of euros to repair every dent and scuff he has accumulated on the bodywork of his car over at least the last ten years? Definitely.
What could I do? My only option was to swoop so close to Artichoke Man that I knocked a stick of celery out of his hand and, shall I say, “compressed” both his toes with the front wheel of the car. At the same time Hubby, with reactions almost as fast as the speed of light, stuck his hand out of the window and swivelled the wing mirror in against the body of the car so it would not get knocked off.
I almost felt like a cop in an American car chase as a flotilla of twenty or so artichokes rattled along the road in my wake. I saw Artichoke Man in my rear view mirror, hopping up and down on one foot yelling “Ow! oi! Aiyaaaa!” Mr BMW was off into the sunset of course without even slowing down.
Being nice people, we stopped and apologised to Artichoke Man. It turned out Hubby remembered him from primary school, so we all made up over some cannoli and coffees.
Well, without further ado, let me dish out the first batch of awards, the
I always find photography inspiring and so I have decided to award this to some of my favourite photography blogs. (Many more blog awards are coming soon…)
Those of you who have received these awards, if you choose to accept them, should pass them on to another seven bloggers who inspire you in any way. You should link back to this post, write various items of trivia about yourself, etc etc, whatever you wish!
Well, here is my first batch of winners.
Krahn Pix by Lyle Krahn
I think this wildlife photographer spends most of his life hidden inside bushes. He takes wildlife pictures so astounding it is hard to believe he has not spent his whole life as a professional photographer. I love to visit his blog when city life is dragging me down and I need to get away from the trivia we humans foolishly think is important.
Visual Journey by Abu Zar
This Indian photographer takes stunning landscapes and portrait photos in India, America and many other places. His pictures are varied and always fascinating. I go and browse around his blog when my batteries need recharging – when I need a dose of this world’s beauty to get me through the day.
Victoria A Photography By Victoria
This Australian photographer takes pictures of anything an everything – the one consistent characteristic is that they are always fascinating and of astonishing quality. She had to give up work because of chronic illness and, being no stranger to chronic illness myself, I like to take inspiration from others who have not let it stop them living life.
Simple Interesting by Cristi Moise
This is not just a photography blog, but always provides informative and fascinating background information. The author features work by various photographers. How Cristi Moise, the blog author, collects such amazing photos week after week baffles me! You just HAVE to go and see a sampling of what he offers.
Just Mad Stuff by Meenakshi
This may count as cheating, since I received a blog award from Meenakshi last year. But she deserves a heap of awards for her wonderful photography, so here I go!
Distant Drumlin by Karolyn
This fabulous photographer used to live in India and post photos like this. She has recently moved back to the UK and so I was worried her blog may fizzle out, but I am delighted to say with her artistic talent she has not struggled in any way to find more wonderful objects for her photography.
I only found this blog today, but I am so in love with it that it is getting an award immediately! This profesional photographer is also a game ranger in Africa. Take a look at this rhino getting its nostrils cleaned out by a bird. Every photo on this blog will leave your mouth hanging open!