I have been delighted with all the enthusiastic feedback you lot have been giving me about my latest book. Do you want to know what my mother said about it?
“That’s a very unflattering photo of you on the back cover.”
“What do you mean, unflattering?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
“It makes you look fat.”
“No, that photo doesn’t make me look fat. My fat makes me look fat,” I answered.
The original idea was for that photo to go on the front cover. Good job that idea was ditched!
The photo shoot was done by Hubby and I hold him responsible for any unflatteringness. Most models have an arty photographer, ideally gay, encouraging and inspiring them by saying “Give me sexy, give me more pout, that’s right darling, give me tigress.”
What I had was my husband saying “Stop wasting that tomato passata, I want to eat it for my lunch afterwards.”
It does show in the results.
Nevertheless, after all my hard work (models do work hard, you know) I have decided the photos are ideal for a CAPTION COMPETITION.
The prize will be a paperback edition of any one of my five books – see below for details. I may add a second, runner-up prize if more than one person actually enters. You may enter the contest as many times as you like.
All you have to do is put your entry in the comments box below. With your entry, please say which book you would like and make sure you do not leave an entry anonymously!!! If you win, I will be able to find out your email address confidentially, deliver the life-changing good news and ask for your postal address.
The contest will run for 3 weeks, so the deadline for entries is 28th August 2015.
Without further ado, here’s the photo.
Book options
Click on the book for more information.
NON-FICTION
FICTION
The Dangerously Truthful Diary of a Sicilian Housewife 
Busy? No!!! of course you can invite your family around for tea.
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one more pair of underpants to iron, hair to straighten, lunch to get on and then your mother can come in, what? no, thats just passata, no vodka in there! (I’d love the Sicilian Card Games :))
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Why am I drinking passata neat? The power and water have been cut off again so there’s no ice, I had to use the vodka to clean the floor this morning, then I tipped all the salt on the floor, it’s far too hot for anything spicy, and I’m too exhausted to bother with garnishes.
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PS I’d love a signed copy of your Diary or either Evil Eye book. Or a signed copy of the photo????!!!
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I should probably send all three, shouldn’t I? 😉
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& I should send you some money… I really would prefer a signed copy of your Diary book but can otherwise order them via Amazon. What do you prefer?
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“Veronica listens closely to her Sicilian mother-in-law as she is instructed on the lost art of steaming tomato passata to perfection.” (Sicilian Cards!) 🙂
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Actually, the apron makes you look like you have hips. I LIKE hips😋
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Helloooo? Oh shit, I thought my ears were burning.
(diary 🙂 )
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Of course I’ll be ready to go for cocktails and dancing this evening…what time did you say??
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I’ll iron this out…you just bring the vodka and a lime.
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Vampyre dialogues: “Pronto? Is this the hotline to hell? After I minced my husband ’cause he said I am too fat I found that his blood tastes like tomato sauce. Perhaps you know an appropriate victim in my neighbourhood whose blood tastes like pasta, so I can combine?”
I would like to have the Sicilian Card Games!
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“Yes, I’m on my new Apple iRon 6. The coverage is rubbish but my ears have never been so flat.”
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“Bloody hell. What am I really doing here!”
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If I win, I would like to learn about the Sicilian card games, please. 🙂
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Multi-tasking, Sicilian style!
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I am loving these entries! Please don’t forget to say which book you want….
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“Va bene but don’t tell your mamma I forgot to use the fresh tomatoes she gave me to make the sauce”. I would like “How to protect yourslef against the evil eye” Thank you . Love your blog.
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Hello, Hello
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Pronto, Pronto chi parla
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A shorter version of mine earlier post would be. ” I didn’t have time to plant the tomato plant this year”
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*my
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I’m going to need this Bloody Mary
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… and then he was like “what do you mean you drank all the passata and there is none for my pasta?? Are you trying to starve me or what??” But then he got hit by the cold and he forgot everything about it. Thanks god! So, back to our plans for dinner… did we say all 150 people are confirmed?
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LOL!
I didn’t get a secret WordPress email from you though so you’ll have to reveal your identity if you win…. 😉
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Hi Veronica, I did sent another comment with my identity and the book I’d love to win – did you get that?
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Oh, I didn’t see another comment, but is this anonymous one above from you?
Right, I’ll register that – which book would you like? 😉
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Yes, it’s mine 🙂 I would like the card games one – would make a perfect present for my English friends 🙂
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WHAT – there’s no vodka in this!
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I didn’t say which book I would like to receive – your newest book would be appreciated I have all the others. Thank you
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The evil eye one? 😉 (That’s me winking with an evil eye…! ha ha!)
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OF COURSE I’m free to chat with you..I’m simply concentrating on stirring the tomato pasta sauce so IT doesn’t stick and burn in the pot!!
Would love.love.love FRIENDS WITH SECRETS – 999+1 compliments and thank yous
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What! your mother is bringing her own sauce?
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Is it you Mike Tyson
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ma davvero? ma quella roscia…? ma quella che cha il marito che lavora alla posta, …?… si si, cha due figli maschi…si…no…si….no…si si e’ tanto bellino il tatuaggio…e’ una farfallina…si si, se la messa sul sedere…… ma davvero? ma se fatta fare pure la brasiliana!?… che dolore!…ma il marito che dice?…se la fa fare pure il marito? ma che so’ scemi per davvero?…mamma mia regha’, povera L’Italia!
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“In future I`ll use Botox to remove the wrinkles,it might be less painful.” Would love Sicilian Card Games-Please
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