I know I make jokes about everything but I shall try my best to be sensible and serious on this page, and stick to telling you really useful stuff. I am even using bullet points and everything.

The weather in Sicily

It’s hot. Except when it’s not.

No seriously, some people think we don’t get any winter and then freeze half to death and moan at me that they’re cold in March. I know Sicily is hot but it’s not on the equator – it does get seasons.

1. The best times to visit if you want mild weather are September, for guaranteed sun and warmth that is not too hot, or May, for a warm spring that has not overheated everything yet (and for just about all the fruit being in season.) You can get a fabulous early winter holiday in October, when it is still T-shirt weather and mild enough to swim in the sea.
2. Winter lasts from November to March/April and it is usually humid and often windy. You may get warm enough days to sit outside at a pavement cafe’ in a sleeveless top, but you may also get miserable rain and driving winds. Bring a hat, unless you enjoy earache.
3. Summer on the other hand is extraordinarily hot. It gets up to 40 degrees centigrade at some point every year. It starts warming up in May, it is stinking hot in July and August, and in September and October it is lovely and you can still go swimming in the sea but you don’t roast when you come out. Bring your own sun block because it is unbelievably expensive in Sicily and often faulty stock that doesn’t actually work.

Some sources of specific data:

• This is the Sicilian weather map with temperature markers everywhere.
• This is the weekly forecast with enough symbols and wind speeds to keep a kitesurfer happy.
• If this is not enough, you’ll have to learn Italian because this site here is the motherlode. It’s based on observations by the Italian military. If Sicily is ever invaded, trust me, the armed forces here will NOT get their hair muzzed up by unexpected rainfall.

 Maps of Sicily

General pointers:

1. They build new roads in Sicily all the time. They have to. Old roads collapse by the minute round here. Honestly, one day there’s a motorway, the next day it’s gone.
2. All sat navs sooner or later hit a spot that is completely out of date or goes mad and sends you down a wild dirt track. If using one, go online to download all the latest updates.
3. The map you can trust best in Sicily is Google, which seems to be the best at keeping up with all the changes. It is not perfect, and you also find plenty of spots with no phone reception, but it is what I use.
4. If you are going to be driving all over the place in Sicily, I would invest in a paper map as your plan B.
5. Always ask locals to help you plan your route before embarking on a day trip. Some roads in Sicily may look like interstate roads on the map but could turn out to be single lane dirt tracks, or to wind up and down endless hills at such gradients that what looked like a half hour drive will take you all morning. Also, see point no. 1.

Practical links:

• Here’s the Google map of Sicily for you to zoom into, to your heart’s content.