I used to think Italians were Catholics but, since living here, I have found out they are devout Pastafarians.
If I make my Hubby go without eating pasta for an entire 24-hour period, he thinks he will die. He has been brainwashed since early childhood, you see.
Forget vegetables! Italians are told that eating pasta will improve their sporting performance. Of course they want to eat it as much as possible.
If they need to lose weight, Italian nutritionists prescribe pasta every day for lunch as part of their diet.
They are told it will make them sexy.
Pasta advertisements constantly tell mothers that feeding their kids pasta will make them love Mamma more.
They sell special tiny pasta shapes specifically for small babies, since it’s the very first thing Italian tots are given when weaned off their mother’s milk.
They even give it to their dogs. I was somewhat staggered the first time I went shopping in Sicily to find, after two large aisles of pasta, to find a third one, of pasta for dogs. The dog pasta comes in bags the size of pillowcases.
This is how Italians make sure man’s best friend is as constipated as man is.
My father found Hubby’s pasta passion a source of great entertainment and once offered him a “present”, which turned out to be this:
“You see, I too grew up on pasta,” I reassured Hubby.
Not only did it enable me to follow the Mediterranean diet, I explained, you can also do this with it:
Italians would only buy pasta that has already been cooked, and has sauce on it, to give to their dogs.
The dogs in Italy do indeed eat pasta every day.
Hubby used to lovingly warm up the leftover pasta for his dog, taste it carefully and sometimes add a pinch of salt or a sprig of basil if he felt it needed more seasoning.
When I once asked him why he makes all that effort to heat up food for a dog. He glared at me, truly shocked.
“Would you eat pasta cold out of the fridge?” he asked me.
I was too embarrassed to admit that yes, yes I would.
Of course, Italians don’t just eat pasta. They make things out of it, too. Although this particular motorbike was not actually made by an Italian…. (go and see other models made by the same man here http://www.incrediblethings.com/art-design/pasta-creations-mini-models-made-with-noodles/)
They do actually have a festival in Sicily where the whole town makes things out of pasta, all together, for 3 months solid:
So far, the one thing I’ve never seen them doing, though, is wearing it. I suspect the temptation to eat themselves naked might be too much for them.