I recently found out there’s an illness called “tanorexia.”
I thought I might suffer from it, being so unable to get a suntan.
I went to the beach yesterday and everyone asked me
“Is this the first time you’ve been to the beach this year?”
Sicilians ask me that every time I go to the beach. They ask it while averting their gaze off to one side for safety reasons, since looking directly at me could burn out their retinas.
I always laugh. No, I have actually been to the beach, gone red and then peeled back to white again, quite a few times already this summer.
I don’t just get this from Sicilians, by the way. I have always been abnormally white even by English standards. I spent my school years being the butt of jokes about phosphorescence, and causing confusion amongst moths. My legs, sparkling in the sunlight, were once held responsible for the school team losing a hockey match.
So anyway, I looked up TANOREXIA on Wikipedia.
Apparently it’s an excessive addiction to suntanning and sun beds, and it makes you look like this:
Never before have I felt so at peace with my albino-like inability to tan.
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