I have been rummaging through the statistics for my blog today. When I was new to this blogging lark, I did it obsessively. Nowadays I just take an occasional look at the search engine terms which have brought new visitors to my blog.
One of the strings typed into Google that immediately jumped out at me was:
How to get rid of large deep bumps in pubic area
Before you go frantically looking, I can assure you there is no relevant advice whatsoever on my blog. I am at a loss to explain why on earth Google thought the owner of this distressing pubic phenomenon would get help from this Sicilian Housewife.
I also wonder exactly what kind of Sicilian Housewife google thinks I am, since the following phrase also brought a new visitor to my site:
italian housewives cleveges
Upon checking this phrase for myself, I discovered it turns up my article on Sicilian builders and their bottoms, with the following image:
Though I cannot speak with the authority of a randy man with a fetish for Italian housewives, I seriously doubt that the Internet surfer in question found this image satisfying. Indeed, I wonder if this poor horny fool ever found any cleavages, since he doesn’t know how to spell them? He may have been the same desperado who went on to search using the phrases
Sex between plumber and homemaker
Women in Sicily with big tits
And I imagine his desperation mounted by the second as he realised he just kept finding his way to my blog over and over again, and all it has on it is heartless mockery of women who care about washing their linens whiter, and ironic explanations of why you should never clean snotty dog nose-prints off your patio doors.
Was he the same desperate and rather kinky fellow who typed:
Bimbo feet smelly
… and if so, which of my blog posts did that take him to?
Moving from the smutty to the ridiculous, a few other searches that reached my site were these:
i am a surgical tech can i still scrub in if i have stitches in my hand
Which native American tribe had a pug nose as a strong feature
Discipline itch collar priest food bowl
Why Sicilians don’t look black
a vivaldi is when you are stuck in the queue of a call center and they play four seasons, only to be answered when you finally reach autumn
Village housewife armpit images
Slim women dangling tits
Housewife like to work naked at home
They made a TV show about “desperate housewives”; I never knew till now that, actually, the world is packed with men desperate for housewives!
So, do you write a blog? What’s the freakiest search term that has ever brought a visitor to your blog?